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Totally Serious Opponent Report: Drinking Coffee vs. BYU

By Josh Barnhill

Sep 17, 2016; Provo, UT, USA; Brigham Young Cougars fans show their spirit prior to their game against the UCLA Bruins at Lavell Edwards Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Jeff Swinger-USA TODAY Sports
Sep 17, 2016; Provo, UT, USA; Brigham Young Cougars fans show their spirit prior to their game against the UCLA Bruins at Lavell Edwards Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Jeff Swinger-USA TODAY Sports /
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Today we prepare our coffee makers for the late night game vs. BYU.

It’s going to be a late one in Provo, Utah.

College football games don’t last three hours. Will someone tell ESPN this fact? If you get a game in under 3.5 hours you’re doing well, but probably half of them last longer than that. Last week’s Tennessee vs. Texas A&M game lasted nearly five hours. It was a ton of fun to watch and I enjoyed every minute of it, but it lasted almost five hours.

Duke vs. Louisville will bleed into the MSU vs. BYU kickoff time, forcing a 9:20 Central kickoff time. That’s 8:20 Mountain time. That’s late for everybody.

I’ll be watching the game from the Eastern time zone – so it’ll be 10:20 for me. By the time the game ends – because they all last at least 3.5 hours – it’ll be nearly 2 AM. Ouch.

Fridays are great, but I’m exhausted when I get home. After a week of working hard I let my mind rest and typically doze off on the couch by 7:00 while my kids are putting goldfish and fruit snacks in my hair. And I’m not that old. I’m just like the guy in “Friday Night Blues” by John Conlee. 

If I’m going to stay up for this one, I’m going to need some coffee. Lots of coffee.

I’ve come to enjoy coffee. I pretty much drink it everyday now. Always from my home brewer.

Of course, BYU fans will not like to hear this as drinking coffee is forbidden by their honor code.

"Abstain from alcoholic beverages, tobacco, tea, coffee, and substance abuse."

No tea, no coffee. I don’t suspect it’s just caffeine they are against because you can buy decaf tea and coffee and the grocery store. Whatever.

I’ll be drinking my coffee and still probably fall asleep. Maybe I need one of those power energy drinks in the tall black can I see the kids drinking these days. Nah, I’m not going to do that. I’ll be okay falling asleep in my chair during halftime and waking up halfway through the 4th quarter to catch the end of it. Then watching the full recording in the morning. It is what it is.

Next: Comparing the first 7 years of Mullen and Jackie

Maybe just maybe this coffee prohibition in Provo will work to the Dawgs advantage as the BYU contingent will be lulled to sleep in the stands?

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