Mississippi State Football Self Sanctions after Student Tweets Offer of Chicken Nuggets and Cheese Fries

The following post is satire, and by definition is not real. This story is for funsies.

Bracky Brett, who is in charge of compliance for Mississippi State, announced today it would be self sanctioning the Mississippi State football team today. The sanctions stem from a tweet that was sent by a student of the Phi Mu sorority at Mississippi State.

Bracky Brett expressed deep concern over the offer to A.J. Brown. Brett released the following statement after the tweet was brought to his attention.

"We here at Mississippi State try to maintain the standards of amateurism for all of our student athletes, and we also want to maintain those standards for any potential student athletes who might soon play for the Mississippi State football team or any other official athletic team represented by Mississippi State University. While the offer of chicken nuggets and cheese fries might seem insignificant to many, it is an impermissible benefit because it is not offered to the entire student body."

The sanctions being self imposed on the Mississippi State football team are as follows.

• Loss of 12 scholarships per year for the next four years for a total of 48 scholarships. This is the estimate of how many nuggets A.J. Brown would have eaten each week on Chicken Nugget day over the four years he could have potentially played for the Mississippi State football team.
• Chicken nuggets and cheese fries are banned from all athletic facilities to ensure none of the nuggets came from the Phi Mu sorority.
• Mississippi State will still be allowed to go to a bowl so long as it is not the Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl. Nuggets would be in abundance in Atlanta.

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We’ll keep you updated on this story as it develops and if there are any other sanctions on Mississippi State football.

We really won’t keep you updated as this story isn’t real and is satire.