Assigning 2016 Presidential Candidates to SEC Football Teams
What could be better than mixing politics and football? If you came to the site and clicked on this article then I guess maybe you might like it, and aren’t afraid you might get offended. Here’s to you.
Dawg Smack did a similar piece in July as it related to MSU’s 2015 schedule, but new info has come to light and I’m going to go down the SEC. Let’s do it power ranking style based on Justin’s Week 4 set.
1. Ole Miss = Hillary Clinton; both are front runners who are expected to be in it until the end…..unless they get derailed by scandal. But then again, they’ve both done pretty well in the midst of said legal troubles.
2. LSU = Donald Trump; early leader who I’d have at the top of my power rankings. You know they are going to come right at you, right in your face, and it seems like it would be easy to stop but alas it is so hard to do. Like a freight train barreling down the tracks.
3. Georgia = Ted Cruz; steady. Always consistent to defend what’s right. Will they actually win it all? Well they certainly have a shot but we’ve seen strong ones come up short before.
4. Texas A&M = Joe Biden; in or out? The polling looks good but do we know if they’ll compete? No one knows for sure although most indications are they’re a player.
5. Alabama = Jeb Bush; the establishment. Expected to lead the field since they have the most money and power but instead they’ve coughed it up and struggled to stay at the top. Still a contender, just not on top right now like we may have figured when things got started.
6. Mississippi State = Carly Fiorina; like OM/Hillary they are not a usual suspect in the SEC/presidential race being a non-traditional power/woman, but they could be a contender nevertheless. These types of teams/candidates are becoming the new normal so you never know.
7. Missouri = John Kasich; you don’t think they’re a contender but they’ve been around a long time and they’ve done a lot of winning in the past. They’re not that good, but you still better watch out.
8. Florida = Marco Rubio; really passionate. Maybe others have a better shot at winning it all, but they aren’t going to show a lack of passion for the issues.
9. Tennessee = Ben Carson; contender or no? A little up and down – just when you think they are ready to make a big jump they fall back a bit but still in there for sure. Praying before football games and prayer breakfasts are a signature.
10. Kentucky = Mike Huckabee; a lot of people like them and wish them well but at the end of the day they aren’t a contender and are happy to concede to someone else so long as their message is heard by the public.
11. Auburn = Scott Walker; when they entered the race they looked really strong but then before you know it, bam, out of the race.
12. Arkansas = Rand Paul; when you go around attacking people and saying that your way is the only way to do things when the majority of people don’t believe the way you do then you’re likely to get your tail kicked in.
13. South Carolina = Lindsey Graham; Palmetto trees! Long history of success and continuing to talk trash despite basically being irrelevant in this race.
14. Vanderbilt = Bernie Sanders; you spent several years accumulating wealth and things are really good, then the socialist comes in to take 90% of it away. So instead of getting nine wins and only paying four losses in taxes, you are going to give a win to Western Kentucky, Georgia, Ole Miss, MTSU, South Carolina, Missouri, Houston, Florida, Kentucky, Texas A&M and Tennessee. The only win you’ll get is against Austin Peay. All that hard work and you’re left with nothing.
Candidates not mentioned: George Pataki, Bobby Jindal, Chris Christie and Rick Santorum.
Next: Will Dak Prescott Break the Career Mark for wins by a MSU QB?