Predicting What Every SEC Coach Will Say at SEC Media Days


SEC Media Days 2015 starts next week which means mass media contingent, 24-7 coverage around the country and your favorite coaches and players all in one place for three days.  Football is back and so are the cast of characters in the grandest football conference in the land.

Questions will be asked, rankings will be made and fans will celebrate and complain all at the same time because that’s what most SEC fans do.  One of the parties involved in all of this that typically have to toe the company line are the coaches.  They typically talk in “coach speak” and honestly you don’t know anymore when they step off the podium, than before the walked on stage.

But – what if every SEC coach told you exactly how they felt in their opening statements and was honest in their conversation with the media?  It would be outstanding and you think ratings are high now for SEC Media Days; it would go through the roof if these coaches said publicly, what they told us here at MWN privately in our mock SEC Media Day speech work with all SEC coaches.

Auburn Coach Gus Malzahn: “Great to be here, (pushes up glasses). We’re excited about the 2015 season and having Will Muschamp back at Auburn, (Muschamp heard yelling from outside the room WAR EAGLE $%^#@).”

“I can’t promise a lot of things and one of those is how often Will will keep his shirt on or head-butt someone.”

Florida Coach Jim McElwain: “Hey yall – First let me say I’m no Urban Meyer, nor will we recruit the type of punks errrr kids he did here.  Secondly, I don’t have a lot to talk about offensively just yet because we don’t know how we are going to score yet.”

Vanderbilt Coach Derek Mason:  “I just wanna tell yall I’ve enjoyed coming down here the last two years – Ima miss this place next year.”

South Carolina Coach Steve Spurrier: Yall know the deal, I been coming to this thing before some of you were born.  We suck, Clemson sucks and everybody in the SEC West cheats.”

Texas A&M Coach Kevin Sumlin: “Alright! Let’s do this and if you ask me a Johnny Manziel question I will have my body guard escort you out.”

Mississippi State Coach Dan Mullen: “ Ahhhhhhhh Well – we’re here to compete for a championship, but y’all already knew that.”

Tennessee Coach Butch Jones: “Morning! I just want to say its total coincidence that our recruiting picked back up after we made some “University wide faculty and policy changes”.  I know it’s reminiscent of 1998, but it’s strictly coincidence.”

Alabama Coach Nick Saban: “Hey – Why do I need to be here?  I have #%#@! to do.  Can you just call and talk to Lane?”

Kentucky Coach Mark Stoops: “Does anyone really care about me or is this really all about John?”

Missouri Coach Gary Pinkel:  “Yall keep doubting us, keep on and watch us cram a *^&%$^  ( Missouri SID Yells GARY!!!!!)  – Pinkel: Sorry.”

Arkansas Coach Bret Bielema: “ I’m gonna be up here a while so can we go ahead and cater in lunch?”

Georgia Coach Mark Richt:  “I give you guys 10-wins a year so don’t act greedy or unappreciative and ask me about championships.”

Ole Miss Coach Hugh Freeze:  “Hello Beloved: Can someone get the WiFi back up? I need to publish this tweet before we continue to win this day.”

LSU Coach Les Miles: “I told my wife Kathy this morning that – have you guys ever had biscuits from Cracker Barrel? They are absolutely – ok so quarterbacks. Wait. Start over – First question, let’s talk some football.”