Bent’s Bites – Arkansas @ MSU
This Saturday at Davis Wade Stadium, our #1 ranked Mississippi State Bulldawgs will be playing host to the Razorbacks of Arkansas, where people do not need to wear wedding bands. You can tell the married people because there are tobacco spit stains running down both sides of the pickup truck.
I tried to look up a little about the team, but it was difficult. Turns out the U of Arkansas doesn’t have a website. They can’t seem to string three W’s together. I found a bit about them on some other sites, though. For example, 37 of the players on their roster are actually from Arkansas, which is enough for two full sets of teeth.
I also learned that, oddly, the use of rectal thermometers was banned at the University of Arkansas. They were causing too much brain damage.
It’s October. Do you know what they do in October in Arkansas? Pump kin.
You gotta’ love the folks at Strange Brew!
Also, I found out where the oak trees from Auburn’s Toomer’s Corner went. They’re playing offensive line for Arkansas. Seriously! Have you seen these guys? They’re all, like… Seven feet tall! I can’t figure out if it’s Bret Bielema running this show or PT Barnum. That much pork running around tends to make Bulldawgs hungry and act uncharacteristically vicious.
Mississippi State’s offense is phenomenal, but Arkansas has a stout defense. Arkansas’ offense consists almost entirely of running the ball (what would you do with an offensive line that danged big?), and stopping the run is one of the things that Mississippi State’s defense does best. I’m not expecting a huge scoring game. I’m expecting us to win by at least 17, though. Vegas says we’re 11 point favorites in this one, but what does Vegas know? They also say umiss is 2 1/2 point favorites over Auburn!
Looks like it’s going to be a “bundle-up” game Saturday night. Temps probably in the upper 40’s – low 50’s during the game. I don’t know. I’m guessing. That’s why M&WN has a meteorologist on staff. I’m just saying… Sounds just about like “hog killing weather” to me.
I cannot talk all bad about Arkansas. An old friend of mine fell in love and married an Arky girl. Eventually living in a “house divided” got the better of him. He was a better friend than he was a State fan. He decided he was going to become an Arkansas Razorback fan. He went to see a doctor to find out if there was a way to become one. The doc explained it was a fairly simple procedure. All they would need to do was remove half of his brain, and he would wake up as a UPig fan.
It didn’t turn out well, though. When he woke up the doctor came around all concerned. “Sir, I apologize, but there was a mix-up with the scalpel. Instead of removing half your brain we removed 3/4 of it. How do you feel?”
My buddy sat up, looked around, and said “HOTTY TODDY!”
Everybody come out this Saturday to Starkvegas and let’s have us a good ol’ fashioned Mississippi hog roast. Be sure to dress warmly and come spend some time with the Mississippi State Family. We’ll have us a big ol’ time. We’ll ring some cowbells, watch a good football game, and talk about how amazing it is to be #1!
HAIL STATE!