The Drive to 325
As a proud supporter of the Sickos Committee, I must bring up the most “sicko” storyline the sport has to offer in 2023:
Iowa football’s drive to 325 total points.
The Iowa offense has become the laughing stock of CFB. They’ve always been tough to watch, but they were hilariously bad in 2022, scoring just 17.7 PPG which put them 123rd in the country.
Making it even funnier was the fact that Iowa’s incredible defense produced six of the 25 TDs Iowa scored on the year. Do the math, and that comes out to about three PPG by the defense and just 14 from the offense.
Most teams would certainly fire the play-caller responsible for such a disgusting offense, especially when it cost a team from having a great season (Iowa went 8-5 thanks to their defense).
But not Iowa! Why not, you ask? Oh, because the OC is the HC’s son. Kirk Ferentz is basically king in Iowa City, and he chose to abuse that power by putting his son, Brian, in charge of the offense back in 2017. And during that time, the Iowa offense has repeatedly let down the Iowa defense and prevented the program from big things.
Gotta love nepotism.
Still, some pressure has been put on Brian Ferentz to show improvement going into the season. His contract was revised to include a few benchmarks that must be hit in order for Brian to remain OC.
For his contract to be renewed, Iowa 1. Must make a bowl 2. Must win at least seven games counting a potential bowl and 3. Must average at least 25 PPG.
In case you’re unfamiliar with the modern game of CFB, 25 points is nothing special. In fact, it’s incredibly underwhelming. Last year that would’ve been good for 85th nationally.
But for Iowa, 25 PPG is about average for their offensive production over the last several years, and with their defense being so strong, that’s enough to get them winning big. Had the Hawkeyes scored exactly 25 points in each game last season, they would’ve won 11 games.
Assuming a 13-game, bowl season, which is necessary per the contract, Iowa must score at least 325 points this season to keep Brian Ferentz safe. Thus, “The Drive to 325”. Although, it has been pointed out that if Iowa reaches the Big Ten Championship Game, they’d then need to score 350 given a 14th game.
Of course in true Iowa fashion, defensive scores WILL count to that point total. So technically Brian might not even have to field an offense that scores that much given that you can always count on the Hawkeyes to record several pick-sixes.
Keeping up with Iowa’s season point total over the weeks is going to be absolutely electric in the most disgusting way possible. I can’t wait.