Saban Lobbies for Games to be Played on Paper

Jul 17, 2014; Hoover, AL, USA; Alabama Crimson Tide head coach Nick Saban talks to the media during the SEC football media days at the Wynfrey Hotel. Mandatory Credit: Marvin Gentry-USA TODAY Sports

Nick Saban spent the past offseason lobbying for a proposed 10 second rule to be added to college football, all done in the name of player safety. Many speculated that the reason Saban pushed for the rule change was to take away any advantage that up tempo offenses had gained through their style of play. Nick Saban is now lobbying for another rule change in the name of player safety, and that is for all games to be played on paper.

Saban is arguing that the best way to keep injuries from happening is to simply not play them. Playing them on paper would obviously give Saban’s Crimson Tide a clear advantage as they played their 50th straight game as the favorite last year. Some are suggesting that this is another veiled attempt to give his team the advantage to winning games. Saban says that is all hogwash, and he points to his unlikely supporters as evidence, the Nation of Enthralled Recluses Due to Dungeons & Dragons, or NERDDDs.

NERDDDs released a statement backing up the legendary Alabama coach that read:

"The Nation of Enthralled Recluses Due to Dungeons & Dragons could not be more thrilled that Nick Saban has seen the benefit and excitement that playing games on paper can bring. We at NERDDDs have been playing games on paper for decades and have found it to be both entertaining and intellectually stimulating. It is true that partaking in such a lifestyle has hindered our ability to socialize with members of the opposite sex, but we believe the positives outweigh any perceived negatives. To show our appreciation to Coach Saban for such a bold move, we are presenting Coach Saban with a solid gold pocket protector to welcome him to our ranks."

Saban informed us that the Pocket Protector was returned immediately as it might be viewed as an NCAA violation, though he did appreciate the gesture.

If Saban is successful, it would mean a drastic change to the way college football is played. Saban did acknowledge that such a bold change would be a long shot, he told us he will do whatever he needs to if it means keeping players safe.